Brown rice with brown mushrooms is not going to win me any photographic awards, that’s for sure. There’s no denying the fact that it’s brown - completely and utterly.
It’s brown like Gordon Brown, the brownest ever PM. It’s brown like the weather in November: rain through odds and bits of (brown) colour of the leaves still clinging to branches; which is actually worse than the all-grey of January. Brown like the brown mouse in the corner of a really filthy kitchen. Brown like the coat of an unpleasant old lady at the next table who minds your kid jumping up and down before his cheesecake. Brown as brown hair; not auburn or chestnut - plain brown, mousey brown. Brown noise. Brown bread. Brown – just say no.
You don’t see many red carpet outfits in that colour, and I can’t see it becoming the new grey in interior design. Brown isn’t a colour of the rainbow, or of a unicorn. Girls don’t hanker after getting brown hair colour; and I’ve never seen a brown car.
And yet: brown bears, brown sugar, brown butter are all undeniably good and interesting, more than their white counterparts – at least in the case of sugar. Brown trout or rainbow trout? Both equally delicious. Browning the meat before braising? Oh yes. And everything is pretty much well baked when it’s golden brown.
So we’ve got a winning hand here with brown rice, it’s so much tastier. Mushrooms, too, chestnut are better than the boring white caps. I’ll vouch for brown – remember: food in vivid colours can be treacherous like poisonous mushrooms or yew berries.